Dear hurting one,
This is a letter to you. A letter to all the sweet ones out there who can’t manage to get out of bed today, who feel overwhelmed, insufficient, and broken.
To the moms who feel the weight of raising children, who may be hiding in the bathroom just to get a moment alone. To the moms who just lost their cool and are hiding in the bathroom feeling guilty. To the moms who are still waiting to hold a child in their arms. This is to the new moms, the seasoned moms, and the waiting moms.
To the women waiting for healing, for a promise, for change to happen.
To the women who feel lost, uncomfortable and broken in their body or skin. To the women who hide from mirrors and cameras.
This is to the women who wake up and feel the weight and ache of anxiety, struggle, pain, and suffering. I see you, I know you, I am you.
I am in the suffering.
I am a woman waiting for healing. I am waiting for a promise. I am waiting for change.
I am a seasoned mom and a new mom at the same time. I was a waiting mom for many years.
I often wake day after day with the realization that I am still in pain; the anxiety, struggle and suffering hit me square in the chest. These are the days I struggle to rise up from my bed.
These past few days have been full of reminders of my “suffering”. I use this term suffering because of what I was reading today in Romans.
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And web oast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
-Romans 5:1-5 (NIV)
Because I like it, here is The Passion Translation:
“Our faith in Jesus transfers God’s righteousness to us and he now declares us flawless in his eyes. This means we can now enjoy true and lasting peace with God, all because of what our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One, has done for us. 2 Our faith guarantees us permanent access into this marvelous kindness that has given us a perfect relationship with God. What incredible joy bursts forth within us as we keep on celebrating our hope of experiencing God’s glory!
3 But that’s not all! Even in times of trouble we have a joyful confidence, knowing that our pressures will develop in us patient endurance. 4 And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. 5 And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us!“
This is what Holly Furtick refers to as the Hope Cycle. (Im not going to outline her entire amazing sermon, but you can listen to it here.)
Suffering -leads to-> Perseverence -builds>- Character -leads to-> Hope
Too often I feel stuck in the suffering. I do believe the enemy wants to keep us stuck here. The enemy wants me to believe others don’t or can’t understand my pain, he wants me to fall into complaining constantly, he wants me to blame others for my suffering and he wants me to be angry with God for all of it. He wants me to isolate myself. And while my feelings of anger, hurt, and brokenness are valid… they are not the truth.
The truth is that God loves me. He is for me. He has made me whole in him.
Yes, I still have pain. Sometimes I still don’t know how to do life amidst pain and brokenness- but I persevere with HIS HELP. God has not left me alone. And I trust that He is making me wiser, kinder, more compassionate, and more responsible through my suffering. He is sustaining me and that gives me HOPE.
So my dear sister, please hear me.
You are enough and God will provide for you. God is still with you, in the waiting place. He knows your heart, your longings, and your suffering. He is not afraid of your feelings or your pain. He loves you just as you are. He isn’t asking for perfection, he is asking you to trust him.
You are not alone.
Keep persevering. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. One deep breath at a time.
When you feel alone- reach out. I am here. Im not afraid of your feelings and I will listen to you, hug you, and pray with you.
-A sister who loves you.